Friday, January 11, 2013

So, how low is it?

Looking to add a little humor to a situation that's not considered funny by many Smith Mountain Lake residents, we asked Laker Weekly readers to complete the following sentence: The lake is so low that.... Following are some of the responses readers submitted.

I raked leaves between the rip-rap and water line and considered planting grass.

- Jim Leslie

Ron Willard is developing "The Shoals," a scattered community of formerly invisible waterfront lots.

- Jerry Hale

Even Todd Hoffman could find gold.

- Mike Baker

I saw a worm come up for air.

- Lynn Phelps

The fish are getting a tan.

- Tracey Whitlow Lewis

Realtors are updating property descriptions to include beach access.

- Phil Woods

No one is there to drink beer and raise the water level while in it.

- Cheryl Pegram

The county is now re-assessing property values of lake front property (perhaps I shouldn't give them any ideas).

- Ron Hebert

People are wearing their sneakers to wakeboard ... and leaving the boards at the dock.

- Jerry Hale

The Virginia Dare can now cruise above Hales Ford Bridge.

- Todd Patterson

We moved our outdoor furniture INTO the lake where the mud has dried into dirt and the deer walk all around us.

- Wanda Handy Ward

The fish had to walk to their schools.

- Keith Erickson

The fish have ticks.

- Kevin Lankford

I can ride my pontoon boat up and down on the lift, and feel like I finally got to ride in it.

- Lorraine Dranikof Woch

I'm considering converting my JetSki into a 4-wheeler.

- Bruce Helms

I get to look up at my rip-rap.

- John "J." Stoll

I can walk my ENTIRE property line.

- Ron Viramontes

Folks now have a private beach, larger than they thought.

- Jane Lester Boney

Floatersâ? .aren't.

- Jerry Hale

We're all going to have to sell our boats and buy 4-wheelers.

- Rob Cloud

A fisherman snagged Jimmy Hoffa's teeth using a top-water lure.

- Mickey M. Johnson

How low is it? LOL

- Nina Adams

We now need binoculars to find the shoreline.

- Jane Slayton Willis

The Department of Agriculture has now declared SML shoreline as farmland.

- Dollie Jewell Kinkead

That we don't know what a floater is. What we have sure doesn't float.

- Bud Keene

VDOT has decided to use the OLD Hales Ford Bridge when they repave the new one.

- David R. Phelps

Santa didn't need a boat this year to make his deliveries to SML kids.

- Susan Landergan

I turned my WaveRunner into a Land Rover.

- Keith Erickson

When we bend over to look down at the mountain tops, we get nosebleeds.

- Randl J. Spear

They're painting stripes on the bottom to delineate the slips at the marinas and on-water restaurants.

- Jerry Hale

It's just a short walk from Bernard's to Vista Pointe.

- Jerry Hale

Ron Willard is planning a mall between Bernard's and the State Park.

- Jay Furick

Our neighbors now see us skinny-dipping.

- Bud Keene

Diving from our dock is suicidal.

- Bud Keene

It rained, so people would find something else to complain about.

- Amy Morrison